Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
