She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
