He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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