The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize