Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
