Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
