I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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