Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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