Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize