Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
