I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
