So drunk its hurt
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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