so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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