Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
