someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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