My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
