yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
