My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
