Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can text with my tongue
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
