Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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