you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
