my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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