all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
