To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
