So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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