i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize