I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We need to get me chipped asap
All the doctor said was why
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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