I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
