you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
