he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
barbara walters just said penis...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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