He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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