dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
