Plan B is the new Plan A
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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