yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
