Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
