and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
