No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
