Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
