party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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