YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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