Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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