ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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