I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize