Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
