i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
