marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if only i could text you this smell
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
