idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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