Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
