Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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