I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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