I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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