Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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