question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
