Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
