Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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