people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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