omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
