Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
