You just made me feel so damn special
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
