hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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