happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
