No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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