She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
