went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
